Canada's National Capital Swingers Club
Homepage: the4playclub.com
E-Mail: ccc@the4playclub.comHow Singles Can Join The Club
Swinging Lifestyle Convention - HedonismINTRODUCTION
Most singles get very frustrated when attempting to join couples clubs. We have more helpful information on our web site to help single swingers get involved in the swinging lifestyle than any other web site!
We have put this information package together to help singles, but primarily to help us from repeating the same helpful hints and tips to singles in replies to the hundreds of emails from singles we receive every year. Regardless how much helpful information we provide to singles, it gets increasingly frustrating when singles want to tell us their specific situation and will we consider accepting them into the club. Many singles (or married men) will write "We know you don't accept singles, but here is my situation."....... etc. Trust us, some of you are very inventive with offering to tend bar at parties or help at the door or bathrooms etc.
Many singles that write us are very rude or ignorant in their emails and think they have rights to join our club if they want. You have to be realistic and understand that our members are primarily married with children. Our members privacy, safety and comfort levels are extremely sensitive and important to running a successful lifestyle club. We bar couples who are rowdy, ignorant, drug users, pedophiles, pushy, abusive, drunks, etc. If you fit into any of these categories as a single, your chances of getting involved in the swinging lifestyle are ZERO!
A lot of the information for singles is just factual or helpful in creating an understanding about the difficulties for singles getting into the swing of things.
What are singles thinking in joining a couples club?
There are hundreds of singles clubs and bars out there, but the grass or "sex" always looks better on the other side! The swinging lifestyle is very sexual and open in nature. Many singles get impressions that our dances and private parties are full of willing partners to play with. Our members are open to many different sexual fantasies that will intrigue many people, single or not.Many single males think our club activities look cool, they comment on our great web site, our great activities, our great environment and a place where everyone can have lots of fun! They want to join, but do not have a willing partner. Many singles or married men have partners that want nothing to do with the swinging lifestyle, but they decide to venture out on their own, despite their partners wishes.
We want to help, but we are not a dating service!
Many singles write us every week with special requests. We receive approximately 2 single females requesting to join our club for every 200 single males that request to join our activities. Most singles ask us to help them find a sponsor to the club or hook them up with other singles of the opposite sex. We will not take the time to match up single with singles and have only matched up a few couples with 2 singles in the past seven years!If you are unable or unwilling to find a partner of the opposite sex willing to attend an erotic dance club, your chances of adapting to the swinging lifestyle would be very difficult, even if we "hooked you up". Most swingers take years getting to know and explore their partners fantasies before joining a lifestyle club.
How many singles are in The Capital Couples Club?
Our club has less than 10 singles in a membership over 1300 people! We spend almost all of our time assisting and guiding new couples in the swinging lifestyle, with little or no time for the few singles that require more help than we can provide. Most couples who sponsor a single playmate will help their friend in the lifestyle and for the most part this single is primarily joining to play with the couple in an erotic environment. Most singles do not roam the club like a vulture looking for a meal and is actually frowned upon.Married and Cheating on your partner?
Many of the single males requesting to join our club are typically married men who are cheating on their female partners. We have some ladies in this area as well, but it is primarily the married male that is looking for sex on the side of his marriage.How do we know that you are cheating?
Some of you tell us when we ask! When you fill out your request to access our web site, you would be surprised how many of you tell us you are married and cheating. Many men that are cheating will not give us their home phone number or home address. We have couples in many different situations in their relationships that enjoy the swinging lifestyle. Some couples permit their partner to play in the lifestyle on their own or with a different couple.If your date will not show her I.D. or provide home phone numbers and home address in an application, chances are you have mislead a friend or hired an escort. We have several other methods of detecting or finding people who cheat on their partner. Most swingers are playing openly in a sexual lifestyle that offers no reason or incentive to cheat! Most swingers are deeply in love with their own partner.
Where do our single members come from?
Most of our single members were previously married or dating a partner for a significant length of time and were previously a member couple in the swinging lifestyle. If their partner passes away or they separate or divorce their partner, they know many play couples that are willing to sponsor them into a swing club as a third partner.Singles (male or female) are not permitted to join our membership on their own. They must be sponsored by one of our member couples and arrive and depart our club with this sponsor couple. If you do not know any couples that play in the swinging lifestyle, you need to take your time and advertise. (This is a long process for most singles.)
Some clubs accept singles at a hefty membership fee!
Some clubs do accept singles, but membership fees for single men is extremely high and very cheap for single ladies. Some clubs love to cash in on the lifestyle and your money helps finance other benefits for the club. Some clubs tolerate singles, just to get your dollars in their pocket.Many singles are surprised that activities inside clubs are all consensual. Nothing is a free for all at lifestyle clubs. Many single males pay lots of money to just watch the parties activities and many ladies turning down their advances. Most couples join the swinging lifestyle to share and see their partner have a good time, most singles join to take or have sex. Most ladies are primarily interested in other couples or ladies. A very small percentage will enjoy the activity of a single male.
We have a great deal of helpful information for singles on this link.
10 Steps To Successful Swinging For Singles
STEP ONE: Find a willing partner!
This is the quickest method of getting involved in the swinging lifestyle. You need to meet many different women and find ladies that are open about their sexuality and willingness to explore it with you. Once you find a willing partner, submit an application for membership.If you are not sexually active with the opposite sex, your chances of joining the swinging lifestyle are very low or almost impossible. Couples or singles who experiment sexually with other partners will enjoy trying the swinging lifestyle clubs.
If your attitude about yourself is very low with regards to your looks, weight, height, penis size, or any physical disability, your chances are reduced even more!
Many men tell us that they can't find a willing partner. This lifestyle is not for every couple or single. It is very hard in life to find two people that match and enjoy sexual experimentation. Many couples spend years together as a couple before joining a swing club. Don't assume you will find a partner and join a club within a few weeks or months. Some singles will even hire an escort and apply to clubs, in the hopes of getting lucky with other lady members of swing clubs. Don't even attempt this route!!
STEP TWO: Find A Specialty and Use It!
If you have a large cock or can perform some special sexual favors that others are not willing to do, you can create a special niche for yourself.Some singles take time to let couples know about their specialty in massage, taking home videos, bisexual play. Some singles will venture into bondage, S&M or role playing etc.
STEP THREE: Take Your Time!!!
If you are pushy or aggressive with club owners or other couples, your chances of getting an introduction or invitation to a private party are ZERO.Progression for most couples in the swinging lifestyle is a gradual process and can take many YEARS for some couples. It can take even longer for singles to get involved or progress to different levels of play in the lifestyle. If you are just looking for quick sex for yourself, you are in the wrong lifestyle.
STEP FOUR: Avoid What You Want!!!!
Most singles come into the lifestyle with the "I" attitude. I want this or I want to try this or I really want you to do this to me, etc.Couples or clubs that do invite you to attend are asking you to join them for THEIR desires, not yours. When couples play with other couples their is a great deal of sharing. When couples play with a single, it is normally to fulfill their sexual fantasies. Using you like a toy, so to speak. Imagine if the vibrator asked for a blow job and will not work until it got one! Silly example, but very factual. Many couples will get upset if a single starts demanding how the evening will progress or what they want first etc.
Singles need to let themselves be used like a toy a little. You are there to help, but you will enjoy yourself in the process. When couples feel more comfortable, you will be able to call more of the shots. It is a learning experience for everyone and you need to go at the pace of the slowest person! Never push or get insistent. No always means No at any time. The more you make the couple feel comfortable and sexually satisfied, your opportunities will increase in time. You want to get invited back.
STEP FIVE: Be 100% Honest
If you lie or mislead any person or club, your name will spread within the swinging community very quickly and your dishonesty will proceed you wherever you go. If you cause discomfort or do not respect peoples privacy, it is amazing how fast you will get your own back.Many couples and singles destroy countless opportunities in the lifestyle by cheating, making threats, telling lies, playing head games etc.
All clubs and couples respect couples and singles that are honest. We have had singles lie to us and threaten us over the years. One single man who played with us at private parties, threatened us if we did not find him a female partner to play in the lifestyle. Some singles ask married ladies to meet on the side for sex. This gets singles removed from attending any future get together and we pass their names to other clubs and couples to help protect our friends and members.
STEP SIX: Clean Up & Dress For Success
Swinging is like dating, you need to clean up, look your best, be on your best behaviour in any environment (club, bedroom, chat room, community web site, private party, etc.). If you drink too much or act inappropriately, you will not go far in any social club or lifestyle.If you think splashing your nude pics on the net will get ladies or couples falling at your feet, you are starting off on the wrong foot. Every couple enjoys foreplay, in the bedroom or on the net. Especially for singles!
Your attitude or first impressions will come across on the net or in your online ads.
STEP SEVEN: Read - Learn - Listen
Couples take months or years of discussion when venturing into the swinging lifestyle. If you do not understand what swinging is all about and what couples are going through, you will not be open to hearing what they want or how you can help them.If you are well read on the subject of swinging and willing to go at the pace of the slowest person, you will begin to share experiences with other couples as they progress in the lifestyle with you.
STEP EIGHT: Be Polite & Courteous
Some couples you will like and others you might not know how you feel. If you approach someone for a dance and they turn you down, don't burn any bridges and think or say something terrible. No does not mean no forever or is degrading you in any way. Not everyone is a match and saying NO or No Thank you is very polite and no other reason is necessary.If you smile, be friendly and approachable, you will make many friends and make others feel comfortable around you. People who focus on one early rejection can put a on a sour face and will not attract any other person with a cloud hanging over their head.
It is very normal to be nervous on your first time out at any new club, private party, especially if it is your first time out in the lifestyle. Many new couples will have a drink or two to calm their nerves, but too much will not make you very likable. No person likes a drunk.
STEP NINE: Be Yourselves & Enjoy The Evening
This may sound silly, but many people forget to be themselves. Don't be shy to let others know what you enjoy at home. The old saying of "Ask and you will receive!" can be very true in the swinging lifestyle for many people.Many couples enjoy different things like leather, lingerie, rubber, toys, exhibitionism, voyeurism, spanking, bondage, making home movies, gang bangs, bisexuality and much more.
STEP TEN: Privacy Is Paramount
Every person in the swinging lifestyle values their privacy. What you see or hear at any club party must stay at that party. Never push or pry into another persons personal life or work life. If you respect every members privacy, they will respect yours.If any person offers you contact information, ensure you remain discreet. Many couples have other family or children that live at home or have access to the home computer. Always be on the safe side and confirm you have the right person on the phone etc.
Do not bring cameras or any other recording device into any parties or dances. Most swingers do not want their picture in the newspapers or on the internet.
