The 4PLAY Club
Canada's National Capital Swingers Club
 

Homepage: the4playclub.com
E-Mail: 4play@the4playclub.com

 

Lies, Lies, Lies

We thought it was very important to explain some of the lies and head games you will encounter or hear about in the lifestyle.  The more you know about these games that people play, you will be better prepared to defend yourselves against them or at least understand what has just happened to you personally or your partner.

As with all things in life, which includes the swinging lifestyle, many people and groups will take advantage of you for personal or monetary gain.  But to be very honest with you.........

PEOPLE LIE!

Thankfully, most couples in the lifestyle are very honest, trustworthy and people you would call friends.  But it only takes a few bad apples to make many peoples personal lives miserable.
 
 

Question: Why do single males cause most of the damage in the lifestyle?

Answer: There are a number of reasons, which include selfishness in a couples sport, misconceptions about the swinging lifestyle, searching for a life partner among married couples and looking for free sex to name a few.

We have heard single males proposition married ladies all the time to meet with them on the side.  We have also heard single males threaten to inform the couples family or employers if he could not arrange regular sex with the lady.  We have had single males demand we find them a female partner to join the club.  A number of males claiming to be single, are in fact married men looking for sex outside of marriage.

Many couples, including ourselves, believe that if a single male is not able to maintain or secure any relationship with a member of the opposite sex, there could be emotional, physical, financial or family problems that swinging couples will not want added to their lifestyle activities.  This problem is not isolated to single males, a number of single ladies cause problems in the lifestyle, not to mention a few couples here and there.
 
 

 
 

Question: Why do so many clubs permit single females and very few or no single males?

Answer: The biggest reason is PROFIT!  Many couples are looking for a second lady to join them at clubs.  Very few couples are interested in adding another single male.  The couples that are looking for an extra male, can easily find them among the couples in attendance.  Since the extra females will attract more couples, all the better for club owners.  The few single men that some clubs permit to join are normally charged three to ten times more than a single woman or couple.  Many single men will pay hundreds of dollars for memberships and $ 75.00 to $125.00 per party!  The more single ladies that clubs can attract, enables them to add more single males at a very high profit margin.  Many couples feel that club owners are pimping their wives or girlfriends.

Many clubs that do permit singles are doing their best to screen and match up the opposite sexes together.  Many clubs will remind you that they are trying their best to attract the right members for your sexual or erotic pleasure.  Some clubs that have opened the doors to any and all singles have all seen their clubs disappear almost overnight.  A growing number of clubs will offer special nights for couples only and other nights for couples and singles.

 

Question: Why do many couples say that they are IN the lifestyle, or active swingers, when they are NOT!

Answer: There are a number of reasons for this one.  There is a great deal of bad information out there on the swinging lifestyle and so much information for many couples to really know if they are part of the lifestyle or not. The lifestyle can mean so many things to different people.  Some couples just blatantly LIE!

Couples will tell you they are both active with other couples sexually, but when you arrange a get together for an agreed upon foursome, you find out she only wants the lady.  We have had couples invite us to have sex, when in fact they only wanted to watch and be watched.  We have had couples invite us for a foursome, when they only wanted a third player, so they lied to get us in their sexual trap.

Since there is so much terminology used in this lifestyle, it is important you learn as much about a new couple before jumping in their net.  Many people will lie on the internet about size, shape, likes, dislikes, marital status, financial status, age, gender, etc.  Even pictures are not always the real thing.  If you meet couples at large clubs and visually see them in action, you take a great deal of the guesswork out of any possible lies.