The 4PLAY Club
Canada's National Capital Swingers Club
 

Homepage: the4playclub.com
E-Mail: 4play@the4playclub.com

TYPES OF SWINGERS

by Doug & Sharon This is a hotly debated subject in some parts of the lifestyle community.  Are swingers not swingers?  It is generally felt that you can divide swingers into those who participate for recreational (fun) and those who participate for utopian (love) reasons, but we feel that there are many distinct types or levels of swinging that are recognizable.  It is very important and fair to ask other couples what type of swingers they are, so that you can match up with like minded couples. For example, it is very common to hear couples respond by telling you they are soft or a full swing couple.  You must bear in mind that some couples will not be truthful with you in their efforts to get what they are looking for.

By participating in the lifestyle, many couples believe that they are swingers, but many of them are not. The lifestyle is made up of many different interests, such as voyeurism, exhibitionism, bondage, S&M, naturism, polyamory and swinging to name a few. There are many lifestyle clubs out there that accommodate all of these interests. Many couples are surprised to attend a lifestyle club and find a small number of couples who actually swing with other couples. Getting to know the types of clubs and the types of swingers out there will give you a big advantage of finding what you are trully looking for.

 

WHO ARE SWINGERS ?

They are people just like you.  They are your neighbors, your co-workers, your friends, your aunt and uncle etc. Swingers are all around you.  They come in all shapes and sizes, all ages, races and denominations.  They just see their sexual life a little differently from most.  Most swingers treat sex as recreational play.  A swinger is a person who engages freely in sex with matching partners.

Most swingers are middle and upper-middle class professionals.  They are well educated, well groomed, and for the most part physically fit.  The majority are established couples, both married and not. They have a strong bond as a couple.  Their relationship is founded on mutual respect and trust.  They are couples that base their love for each other on many areas of mutual interest.  Swingers do not equate love with sex.  Love for most swingers is deep and created from a complex bonding of shared ideals and life long pursuits with their partner.  Sex is for fun!

  

    What Type Of Swinger Are You?

CURIOUS SWINGERS:  Most couples start out as curious swingers or (NEWBEES).  The couple learns how to behave and swing with others.  While many females are rather reluctant to get involved in swinging, once they do, they accept initial experiences more successfully than males.  Women are generally either enthusiastic converts or completely turned off by the experience.  Generally, curious swingers are relatively non selective when they first become involved.  Curious swingers may test the lifestyle several times over many years before making a commitment to the swinging lifestyle.

Many couples who flirt around the edges of the lifestyle, but do not have any sexual play with other people are generally Voyeurs or Exhibitionists and not swingers. Lifestyle clubs, vacation spots, private parties or lifestyle conventions are the perfect playground for many different lifestyle types.

Most couples start as curious swingers and will debate the subject or fantasize about swinging for short periods of time or even over a period of several years before attending a lifestyle club or private get together with other partners. Curious swingers require a great deal of understanding and patience as they make their choices and set limits for themselves in a new environment.

RECREATIONAL SWINGERS:  Recreational swingers see swinging as a social activity much like bowling, playing tennis and cards, which is relatively consistent with a consumer oriented society, although there is development of personal growth and change through swinging.  Recreational swingers will drop in and out of swinging for short or long periods of time.  Swinging is not a full part of their lifestyle.

 
UTOPIAN SWINGERS:  Utopian swingers have a general philosophy of communitarianism and wish to share not only sex but all other aspects of life with their fellow participants such as birthdays, anniversaries, vacations and family get togethers. More specifically, a love relationship. Many couples in this category are actually considered polyamourus or more interested in love and a new relationship with a third partner or couple. Most swingers do not like to mix love and sex in a new relationship.

Polyamourus couples prefer to become friends first and if a sexual relationship develops months down the road, they consider this a bonus. Swing couples prefer to have sexual play first and if a utopian or friendship relationship develops months down the road, they consider this a bonus.

SALVAGE SWINGERS:  Salvage swingers participate in swinging to relieve boredom with marital sex. Salvage swingers feel that it is impossible for one person to satisfy another sexually over an extended period of time.  Swinging is seen as a method of adding new excitement to the marriage, perhaps even salvaging it.  Most swingers know couples who have tried to salvage a bad marriage by swinging, but they argue that this generally has not been very successful.  Most swingers believe that swinging alone cannot save a bad marriage.  Swingers do believe that it can strengthen a good marriage.

Some women who have no interest in playing sexually with any other person will participate or attend lifestyle clubs or events with their male partner in hopes of keeping him happy. Most couples who try saving a marriage or making another partner happy by tagging along into lifestyle clubs will trully regret trying the swining lifestyle.

It is very easy to spot a couple where one partner is pushing the other or just going along to make their partner happy. When sexual interest levels in swinging are not equal or close to each other between partners, there is a great risk of creating a strong hatered towards the partner who wants much more than you do in the swinging lifestyle.

PREDATOR SWINGERS:  Predator swingers can be male or female, single or couple and are typically found preying on the Curious swingers or (NEWBEES).  In many cases this type of swinger is not well liked or even swing amongst their peers.  Since curious swingers are relatively non selective, they are perfect prey for the predator.  Another victim of the predator is the intoxicated or very busy swinger.  Predators are the easiest swinger to spot at any party, they will enter rooms time and time again without being invited or bringing a mate, they will continue to play when told NO, they will join a large group without being seen or invited.  Predator swingers will lie in their ads and face to face if they feel they can get what they want.  Predators can be very pushy or aggressive and sometimes make you feel uncomfortable to talk with.

The expression dirty old man or women sometimes fits the mold of the predator.  Some predators are smooth talkers.  There are not too many out there and most clubs are very efficient at keeping them in line or OUT!  All swingers are voyeurs and predators to a certain degree, but most swingers fully respect your feelings and right to say NO!  No one will tell you that they are a predator, but you will be able to recognize the type.

The Truth is Out There!

WANABEE SWINGERS:  For a couple to engage in swinging, they must throw off the belief that having sexual relations outside of marriage is improper; they must break the shackles of the double standard.  That is, the wife will be having sexual relations with other males much as the male may have had sexual relations outside the marriage with another partner previously.  Many wanabee swingers have conflicts between each other about actually swinging with another couple.  They may call themselves swingers but in truth, one partner finds the lifestyle improper or disgusting while the other partner wants to be a part of the swinging lifestyle.  Most wanabee swingers never actually swing or one partner may take liberties on their own.

 

 

SOFT SWINGERS:  Soft swingers will generally engage in most sexual activities, excluding penetration.  Sexual activities for all swingers sometimes require changes in how couples handle jealousy, power, and so forth in the marriage.  Soft swingers will both play to their mutual comfort levels.  Many soft swingers will play or get sexually aroused with other couples and then partner up with their own mate for intercourse or to go home for their final sexual play.

HARD CORE SWINGERS:  Hard core or full intercourse swingers have a large appetite for sex and will generally engage or experiment in all forms of sexual activities.  Sexual variety, sexual fulfillment, and the potential of carrying out of one's fantasies are among the advantages of hard core swinging.  Sexual excitation increases for both partners as a result of the new types of sexual experiences and there are discussions of actual sexual experiences among most swingers.  Hard Core Swingers will tell you that they find it very difficult to go to what they call "straight" parties where they end up playing the couples' game, flirtation games, and other kinds of games.  Most swingers believe that one does not have to play games, put up the couple front or flirt at swinging parties: one is able to get down to the basics of life and have sex with one another if it is mutually desirable.  Many hard swingers will play and have sexual intercourse with one or many partners and still partner up with their own mate for intercourse later in the evening or early in the morning.

 

The End