The 4PLAY Club
Canada's National Capital Swingers Club
 

Homepage: the4playclub.com
E-Mail: 4play@the4playclub.com

 

What's In It For Us - True Party Activities

This is probably the most common question from new couples thinking about trying the lifestyle for the first time.  There is always a fear of going into the unknown and with so many stories and rumours, it can be scary and overwhelming to know the difference between reality and fantasy.

Some couples get their expectations too high and are very disappointed with their first experience in the lifestyle and yet other couples are completely overwhelmed at the activities they see or their first experience with another couple.

Many individuals, couples, and clubs are reluctant to tell many details about their activities or functions for many good reasons.  Individual privacy, municipal, provincial and federal liquor laws, the public media, police, security and safety concerns as well as personal reasons.

We will do our best to describe different activities that we have seen and been a part of in the lifestyle.  These true activities will cover the GOOD, the BAD and the UGLY.  We feel that informing you about all aspects, you won't be surprised when you see some of the bad things that can happen in the lifestyle.
 
 

 
 

The GOOD

Sexy lingerie is worn and observed at almost all swing functions we have attended.  Most of the ladies love wearing lingerie and the men definitely love showing off their ladies and admiring other ladies attire.  Sexy lingerie or outfits are a definite attention grabber!

Full nudity or partial nudity is found at every on-premise and off-premise club.  It is very common to see all body parts exposed or partially exposed at some tables, or on the dance floor etc.  Many individuals stay fully clothed, but it is very common to get excited at seeing others play and strut their stuff.  Just remember that some parties or clubs can get very hot and erotic and other parties and clubs very cold and boring.  You are not likely to see all levels of play or nudity on your first visit.  All these things you will see over time.

Every form of oral sex is seen or performed at every club we have ever attended.  A great deal of the oral sex is done discreetly on the dance floor, in a dark corner or in the middle of a group of people.  On occasion you will see oral sex performed at tables, on tables or in the open areas of the club or dance floor.

We have seen or performed full intercourse at every club we have ever attended.  Since many clubs do not permit open sexual activity, you can imagine that couples must be very inventive or discreet to accomplish this task.

Many happy marriages are elevated to a very erotic level of play and sharing.  New experiences that couples never thought possible start coming true.  Couples start playing in twosomes, threesomes and much more.  Sex at home becomes even more frequent and especially with the anticipation of the next sexual sharing of partners.

We have seen or participated in many threesomes, foursomes and more at many clubs and private parties.  Once you get to know many of the full swap swingers and join or attend on-premise or private parties, there is no end to the possible mixes or fulfilling specific sexual fantasies.  We have helped many male and female friends fulfill a special fantasy over the years and many of them have helped us.  It is a very open give and receive type of lifestyle if you are interested in playing and sharing.

We have had many couples tell us over the years that their good marriage has gotten even stronger with swinging.  Couples become more open with each other.  They help each other fulfill sexual fantasies.  Couples learn different ways to touch and play with each other.  Many new techniques of sex are learned from multiple partners and are shared with your own partner at home.  We have personally learned many new levels of play from new couples and have shared our experience with many other couples over the years.  Just when you think you have experienced it all, there is always something new to try or someone.

If you are willing, many new partners will play with you sexually on the dance floor and get you very hot and bothered.  The level of play and the intensity is entirely up to you.  On-premise clubs will definitely permit a more sexually explicit level of play including intercourse.

Most clubs and groups will announce special occasions to the group, such as birthdays, anniversaries etc.  Usually the birthday girl or boy will be given a seat of honour on the dance floor while any member of the opposite sex is invited to dance erotically around the lucky recipient for one or two songs.  A very nice treat to remember.

We have had a number of new partners have sexual intercourse with us on the first meeting on the dance floor.  You never know when you may hit it off with a new partner and what they are willing to do.  Always have a condom with you and you will be prepared for every level of play if desired.
 
 

 

The BAD

We have seen a number of singles fall in love with a number of the married ladies over the years.  Singles can be a threat to any marriage that is not on a solid footing.  Most swing clubs do not admit singles or at least they limit the number of singles that can join.

Clubs that bash other clubs privately or publicly.  This happens far too often in any business, but hurts the image of the swinging lifestyle as a whole.  It is unfortunate that it happens, but reality is a hard concept to deal with at times.  Some clubs focus on profit instead of pleasure.  In any store or business, you can easily sense if the owners are hurting for cash flow.  Supporting all clubs in the swinging lifestyle can be a win-win situation for everyone.

Some men force or convince their female partners that attending or participating in swing clubs will fix or repair the sexual spice in a failing marriage.  Never have we seen this accomplished.  If anything, a failing marriage joining into the swinging scene is usually the death blow to most marriages!  Only a strong and open marriage takes well to the swinging lifestyle.

We have seen a number of ladies leave swing clubs early, sometimes crying while their male partner decides to stay.  Sometimes the male has broken the ground rules or is pushing his female partner to join or dance with a male partner she does not like, usually because he has fallen for this males partner.  You must go at the pace of the slowest partner!  Everyone needs the proper time to adjust and adapt to the concept and new feelings associated with swinging.

Head Games, the term used to describe the multitude of lies and misleading information given by new and experienced couples.  This is the most hated part of swinging for active swingers who are looking for the same.  Many couples feel that they have to lie or bend the truth to get what they want from another couple.  We have seen or experienced other couples playing head games.  Some couples will tell you they are looking for another couple to swing with, go through all the motions, but in reality only want to play with your female or male partner or love watching other couples have sex or love performing in front of other couples.

A number or groups or cliques form at many clubs who make new couples feel unwelcome if you do not fit their ideal specifications.  There are a number of reasons this happens, some good and some bad.  Most swingers are very open, so it is important to not let any small group put you and your partner off to swinging.

We have seen many men playing with new female partners on the dance floor, while their partner sits upset at their table.  Too many men go rushing into different levels of play without first thinking of their partner.  In a number of instances, the lady sitting at the table is a girl friend invited along to get the male partner into a swing club.  The girl friend has no intention of playing or dancing.

On many occasions we have seen new couples arrive at a club for the first time, where the lady is very reluctant and nervous about the concept of swinging.  Many times, by the end of the night, she has become the life of the party and is totally enjoying herself, while her male partner can be found steaming about his female partners new found attention by other men.  Jealousy can cause many different feelings when seeing your partner with someone new for the first time.  Some feelings good and others bad.
 
 

 

The UGLY

Club owners making unwanted advances or thinking they have rights to play with any member since they are hosting the parties.  We have personally seen this at a number of clubs over the years.  All swingers must respect anyone's right to say NO!  There is no exceptions for club owners.

Individuals "Predators" that take advantage of new couples or push themselves on drunk individuals.  We have seen this far too often at many clubs over the years.  Club owners do the best they can to screen out Predators, but you must be prepared not to drink too much in this lifestyle and keep a watchful eye on any person that does not respect the words NO or NO Thank you.

Some men and women use their partner (who has no intention of swinging) as a ticket to get into swing clubs and parties.  We have seen some men force their wives to accompany them to parties.  We have seen some men bring in prostitutes to swing parties.  This is the very dark and upsetting part of the lifestyle.  It does not happen often, but no person should force their partner to do anything they feel uncomfortable with doing or buy their way into parties.

We have seen some male and female partners have unprotected sex with other partners, when we know that couple have strict rules between each other to use protection with every partner.  They usually do this quickly and discreetly when their partner is not in the room or is occupied with another partner.  If you make rules between each other, ensure you stick to them.  It does not take very long before you are caught in the act or the word spreads around.

We have seen a few males have unprotected anal sex with a female partner early in the evening and then have unprotected sex with another lady later.  This is extremely dangerous for everyone involved.  If you have a preference for anal sex, it should be saved as the last item of the evening.  Washing will not get off all the bacteria, so play safe and use a safe.  We have rarely seen this type of activity, but it does happen.

On only a few occasions over the past 20 plus years of swinging have we seen women very upset and crying over a new male partner who has penetrated her on the dance floor.  On these occasions it was usually the heightened sexual libido of the willing lady who is so sexually aroused with all the different playing and touching by many males on the dance floor with the combination of a sexually aroused male taking advantage of the situation to quickly slide his penis into a naked and exposed vagina thinking this is what she wanted.  Even when penetration has started, she does not say NO, but after the event, a mix of guilt and I was not really willing to go that far start hitting home.  You must know your limits and weaknesses and learn to say NO!  Remember to get some indication of permission and if it is YES!, don't be afraid to say so either.