The 4PLAY Club
Canada's National Capital Swingers Club
 

Homepage: the4playclub.com
E-Mail: 4play@the4playclub.com

Here Is What Singles Tell Us

Most singles are on the outside and looking in.  Singles rarely put themselves in the shoes of a couple who have been together for a number of years, sexually experimenting and sharing this sexuality as a team.

If you are single and reading this page, we want to put you in our shoes and give you a blunt reality check on what we hear from many of single males on a regular basis.  Prostitution is a trade that has been successful since the dawn of time, primarily due to the fact that most men would rather pay for what THEY want instead of sharing their sexuality in an equal relationship with a woman.

Sexuality in swinging is a give and take relationship between committed partners that believe in a 50/50 arrangement.  Most singles will offer 10-20% in exchange for taking 80%.  There are successful singles in swinging, primarily they are single women, but approximately 2% of all single males that want to get involved in the swinging lifestyle are truly successful in participating.  If you are a single male and wish to be in this 2%, please read on.

All of the information presented below is real, but only portions of actual email messages are presented to make a statement or point.

The Plea For Entrance

Please let me no how I can join your club please email at XXX my name is XXX I am a swinging single male 38 years old thank you. (This does not tell us a great deal.)

Re the Ottawa adult magazine, I'll check them out.  Unfortunately, nothing has ever materialized from them in the past.  (What did you do or say?)

Im a single white male would love a threesome or four but don't have a partner I'm 29 fit and clean never done this before help me and lets have fun.  (Why don't you have a partner?)
2nd email: It is hard for a single guy to get involoved in swing life style for I'm open minded but the ladies I meet are not and the relastion's fall apart cause of not cause have attituate problem just meeting weman not intough with there sexually to meany goody , goodies for this suck. I am divorest because i'm open minded and honest and my wife could not live that life style so she ceated on me and lefted and took everything now was that honesty or what.  (Now we understand!  Do you?)

I am looking for a female to join me as a partner for swinging purposes. I am a mid 40's professional male living in the XXX area. I am seperated and am curious to try to enter the lifestyle. (I had experience at this
back in the early 80's in XXX).  Do you have any suggestions where I might look to find a partner as I understand it is a requirement to enter your club.  (Why are you separated?)

I'm no longer involved with the bar scene and my social life seems to be suffering as a result of it.  Failing that, do you ever have single women looking for male escorts to accompany them?
It doesn't take a lot of imagination to understand the appeal of your club to single men.
I would be prepared to act as a waiter or something just to get my foot in the door and observe from a distance.  I can't really imagine that in a room full of people filled with sexual tension, I wouldn't catch someone's interest and/or a guest could find me a partner a lot faster than I could.
5th email: Have you come across any opportunities for me yet? (You want it when?)

We were hoping to get some type of info on how to get invited to your party. We've  read and understood your requirements and  believe we meet them. (Two Singles)
4th email: XXX and I have gotten back together.  Like you said in the club there is no cheating, so we would still like to attend a party.
5th email: As you may or may not already know, XXX and I are no longer together.  I did however have a splendid time at the party we attended at your home.  I want to thank you for keeping me updated on your goings on with the club.  Since I no longer have a swing partner though I have been delegated to the ranks of single swinger status.  As I continually fantasize about attending another one of your parties I was hoping you might consider me the next time you come across a single woman who would like the company of someone such as myself. (What seems to be the real problem?)
6th email: I don't know anyone at the moment but rest assured I can  find willing participants now that I know there is an initiative to make it a reality.  Please forward me any details you may think I
may need.  Alas, I am aware of the "lip service" factor that most men practice.  (Lip service?  We never noticed.)

I have been trying to find couples for about a year now without any success.  I am single now, but the idea of having a 3some or a 4 some hasn't left me.  Therefore, my question for you is the following.  Can single people attend one of your party?  If yes i would really like to know how i could attend one of your party.
(Why are you single now?)

If you know nice looking girl who only want a lover tell me.  Oh yea I live in Quebec and bilingual (real bilingual)  (Take a number, we will be right with you.)

How do I get involved in swinging as a single man?  Is there any swingers club(s) in Toronto that will
except single men because I have done an extensive search and I can't find anything.  Can you help me?

Im looking for a swinger club to join or any place i could go to experience great sex and learn
about it.  Ive been having sex for about 7 years now but I dont consider myself good at it.  I would like to go to a place to learn and experience sex to the fullist.  Please I live in the XXX area of ontario canada
if there is any places for me to go please give me the club name and address to go to and try it.  I want to have the best sex i can and right now i fell like guy that has had sex about 500 times but yet still a virgin.  Please write back as soon as possible. (Your not good at it?!!  Don't use this line with the ladies.)

I am from XXX, USA and know very few people here yet so yes i am single, i would like to attend
to poss meet people like myself or just sit around and watch and poss mingle. (Sit, watch and MINGLE?!)

greetings few "swing" clubs offer the opportunity for single men to take part in swing activities.  does your organization allow single men to join?  if so under what circumstances?  cheers
3rd email: I guess I don't like the "game playing" in singles clubs and prefer the upfront nature of the "swing lifestyle" even though I'm well aware of the fact that I cannot find a partner unless you allow single curious women to join your activities as well.  I most ceratinly will be discrete (IE not say a word) if I am permitted to join your get-togethers.
4th email: Although I'm single I feel that any honest sexual experiences that I can "access" via your club will help me and any women willing to make love with me.

I am 25 years old and YES....I AM A SINGLE MALE.  My biggest problem is not in finding women...I have had much success at being with the opposite sex...however....I am between relationships right now and would love to partake in "The Lifestyle".  But after reading some of the paragraphs I find it very discouraging that I'm not wanted anywhere.  Please give me some pointers or help at least find a girl that would be willing to experiment along with me. (Why can't you keep a woman?)
 

The No Shows

Most singles when invited never show up at most parties.  We have sent out invites to more than 120 single men in the past two years for special parties where singles are allowed.  More than 100 single men made reservations for different parties and only FOUR single males have ever shown up in two years!

We screened hundreds of emails to approve and invite 120 single males.  Do you actually realize how much time and effort is spent with each and every single male answering the same questions over and over again.  When we have a party with swing couples, many of the men are willing to partner up for threesomes and foursomes.  We can easily partner up several men at each party without every asking a single male to help with a threesome or foursome with little or no effort on our part!

Couples who have been attached to the same partner for some time are more open and experimental in their sexual relationship than trying to explain all the thousands of feelings that couples go through to singles.  Here are some examples from hundreds of our efforts to include singles and the results we get.

Male in XXX would like to stop in. Hope to here back. (Applied as a single!)
2nd email: ps want to get my wife into swinging life need help.
5th email: Wife still not wanting to swing but I do have green light.
6th email: Just thought i would right and ask how cum i haven"t been kept up with you regular mounthly gang bangs.  Although I am very busy and I do plan on attending one this does not make me a kid playing on the net. I do plan on going in at one of these parteis but it helps to be kept informed.
(Invited to five parties and never attended!)

Do you accept Single men in your club?  If (yes) can you give me more information, because it would be my first time.  If (no) can you tell me if their are any and how I can get a hold of them.
3rd email: I mite say that I'm very ancious to enter the swinging lifestyle witch I strongly belive is for me.
(Invited to four parties and never attended!)

Thanks for the invitation and yes I would love to attend on the 17 th.
2nd email: OK sounds like fun, will try and bring a friend, oh ya ,what is the description of this woman.
3rd email: Ok, sounds semi real,so what is the charge $$$$$$$$$. I will be there,hope not getting sucked in on a joke.
4th email: Ok Sounds cool I will be there around 8:45
(Invited to three parties and never attended!)

I have looked at your site and I have found it quite informative.  I am soon to be single and I would like to know about any swingers club that would accept single males in the Ottawa/Hull (Canada) region.
3rd email: I understand that privacy is really important and I respect that at 1000% - so you have no worries there.  I would love to be added on your list.  I am currently a straight single 29 year old white male.  In case you want to know, I have a female bi-sexual friend. I would love to be privy to the other upcoming events.
4th email: Thank you for letting me know about your new site.  Although I am a single male and cannot join your swingers club...who knows what the future holds.  Please keep me on your distribution list - I love this stuff!
(Invited to five parties and never attended!)

I am very interested in your parties please email me at XXX with more info look forward to being there to fuck the hell out of that woman also require info about joining your club.
6th email: Thanks, i will be there with cock in hand and my I D since i dont drink i will fuck all night  will i be able to fuck the other girls to i love to fuck please reply thanks.
8th email: Hello I was wondering if you have any parties comeing up,as I am getting married this summer and want a chance to part before I get married. If you do I would greatly appreciate it or if you have any women who would like to do this guy a huge favour by partying with me in front everybody please get back to me,thanks.
(Invited to four parties and never attended!)

Understanding Swing Couples

Couples want safety and privacy!  Couples are in the Lifestyle for the enjoyment of their sexuality as a team sport.  Many singles have been in rocky or unstable relationships or are unable to find a sexual partner for many different reasons that are too long to list here.  Many married men try to enter the lifestyle as a single with terrible results to their own marriage, not to mention the damage they cause with other swing couples.

Couples enjoy a special safety when swinging with other committed couples.  All couples value their privacy in their daily lives, but even more so in the swinging lifestyle.  There are many feelings that both partners will go through as they enter and get adjusted to sharing their partner with new sexual playmates.  For many couples, there is a great deal of fear and nerves when attending an adult swing club or party for the first time.  It can take a great deal of time for some couples to feel open about their sexuality in front of other sexually active couples.

When couples see a single male with his "Lets Fuck" attitude, you are history!  When couples play in the lifestyle, they are sharing each other.  Most couples have the attitude that we are sharing our partner, who did you bring with you to share?

Singles must take a serious look at what couples are going through and have an understanding of the human condition of jealousy etc.  If you thought that swing parties are just one big ORGY, you are definately missinformed!